Presidential MENSA Qualifying Test Night

It seems we have suffered more presidential candidate debates than fit into seven or twelve martini glasses. With the entertainment value of cock-fights, they teach us nothing or less about candidates. Time for something new.

Let us petition MENSA to host a Presidential Candidate Qualification Test Day. Pick a school. Shut all candidates in a home room. Include everyone: Republican, Democrat, Green, Libertarian, independent and anyone else who might show up on the ballot. We can watch them test or wait for results. Watching might not be great reality TV and not entertain as much as watching presidential candidates crow at each other like territorial roosters but we will learn more from quiet testing than from noisy debates. And watching could have moments.

Consider watching for the subtle signs: who looks most frustrated; who tries to cheat; who finishes first; last; who does not finish. Will Rubio answer every question by filling in the dot under b? Will Cruz toss his pencil aside and let God fill in the form? Will Trump send an apprentice to take the test for him? Will Clinton sit behind Sanders? Will Sanders debate the validity of the tests? Do the third party and independent candidates sit to the front of the room or the back?

How will the pseudo-news networks play down the importance of test results?

As a side benefit, tests returning quantitative results would be heaven for bookmakers. What point spread will Las Vegas give candidates? Favoring who? Green over Democrats? Libertarian over Republicans? Or no point spreads because we have no idea who might score highest or lowest?

How horrified will we feel when we find out how low the highest scorer scores? Do we want to know how low the highest scorer scores. Maybe not. On second thought forget this crazy idea. What does smart have to do with running a nation anyway?

© 2016 Karl May

2 responses to “Presidential MENSA Qualifying Test Night”

  1. The problem might not be intelligence but authenticity.

  2. Terry says:

    Think of what this could mean for the anti-intellectual right. They may be satisfied with justification for their choice of candidates!

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